Finding Life Balance As A Caregiver

You’ve got cancer.

It’s a heart attack.

She has Alzheimer’s.

Each day, people across the globe are hearing these phrases for the first time. After the initial shock wears off, reality sets in.

Then the other questions begin, and life takes on a whole new meaning.

Who’s going to drive her to the doctor’s office every week?

Who’s going to keep her house clean?

Who’s going to make sure she’s taking all of her medicine?

Who’s going to make sure she’s eating correctly?

And as you’re worrying about the person your caring for, you also soon discover that you have even less time for your old life. And the questions set in for you.

How am I going to do all of this, and work my full time job?

How am I going to do all of this, and take care of my own family?

According to the National Family Caregivers Association, more than 50 million people provide care for a chronically ill, disabled, or aged family member or friend during any given year. The typical family caregiver is a 46-year-old woman caring for her widowed mother who does not live with her. She is married and employed.

And more than ever she is overwhelmed.

This isn’t a job you apply for. It’s not a job you hope to ever have. It’s not something you’ll get paid for – or overtime for – even though it may consume a big part of your life. It’s usually something that springs upon you rather quickly. It’s a thankless job that you just end up doing because you have to (and want to in many cases). You just have to make it fit into your already busy schedule.

Before you let it completely overwhelm you, remember others have been in your same situation. There are things you can do to bring balance to your life.

1. Schedule your time even more carefully now, and don’t take on jobs you just don’t have time to do. Don’t let your caregiver’s role engulf you. Talk to your employer about flex time, and see if you can work earlier or later hours, depending on what’s best for you. Organize your day to doing a little bit in all areas. Plan time each day with everyone in your life, even if it’s just a few moments. And don’t forget yourself – even a hot bath can do wonders.

2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. This isn’t a time to take on the world and think you can handle it all yourself. Sit down and talk with your spouse and children about taking over more of the household chores. Consider hiring people such as housekeepers, lawn maintenance and personal chefs. Speak with other family members to help out one day a week.

3. Don’t say yes to more than you can handle. If you’ve always been the one to volunteer for the school parties and to organize the fundraising drive, think again. Explain your situation, if appropriate, and offer your help in tiny ways. Never give an immediate yes; always ask for a day to think about it, and see if you can put it into your schedule.

4. Realize your limitations. Now more than ever, there are many ways to approach and complete your tasks. In-home care is a reliable alternative for you to ensure the safety and well-being of your loved one. An in-home care specialist can help with simple things like driving to doctors appointments, ensure meal preparation and clean up, or personal hygiene, including bathing and grooming help. An in-home care specialist can take over the chores, and allow you peace of mind without the worry.

5. Be on the lookout for resources in your area. If this is a new experience for you, ask around for information. You’ll be surprised at the number of resources in your area. Start by checking with your local hospital, doctor’s office, or senior resource center for more information. Many communities have resource books that provide you with a wealth of information on local care providers. Learn as much as you can each step of the way, preparing yourself for more difficult future events.